She says she doesn’t want you to get her flower bouquets and seemingly meaningless presents for your anniversary but when you come home with nothing, she’s upset. How does that work? Why do women say something if they don’t mean it? Why don’t they just say what they mean? Well, there could be several reasons for this. Let’s go over this particular scenario as an example.
Let’s say it’s your anniversary soon and you ask your wife what she wants for it. She says, ‘I don’t know, probably nothing. What about you?’ You tell her you don’t want anything either. Then, the day comes and you come home home empty-handed, no flower bouquets, no jewelry, no chocolate, not even a card. Now she’s upset. But, she said she didn’t want anything, didn’t she? Well, let’s look at a few reasons why she might have said she didn’t want anything.
She takes care of the finances
Often times the woman will take care of the finances. This is not necessarily because the man is incapable of doing so, it’s just that finances tend to be a woman’s strength, according to research. Of course, not all the time, but often. So, if she is in charge of the finances then she knows exactly how much money you guys have and when it comes and goes. If she said didn’t want anything, that might be because if you pick from online florists and pay to have flowers delivered or something like that as a surprise, she’ll see it in the bank account before they ever get to her. Or maybe it’s because you guys can’t afford to spend extra money right now.
In either of these cases, the best way for you to overcome this is to figure out a way to get a little extra money to recognize your anniversary with. That way, she’ll be surprised and won’t have to worry about it cutting into the budget. There’s no better way to celebrate an anniversary with a money savvy wife than that.
She wanted you to take initiative
By asking her if she wants something, you are basically taking away all element of surprise and romance. If you have been married awhile, you know that the newness of the relationship goes away. It’s probably been awhile since you’ve done something romantic. It’s not that you don’t want to; life just gets in the way and then it would just seem so random. But, random is good.
What you should do here, is think back to when you were dating or newly weds and try to recall what really made her face light up. Like that Valentine’s Day when you ‘borrowed her car to pick up your brother’ and brought it back washed and waxed and filled to the brim with gifts. If she had told you ‘I want three flower bouquets, six teddy bears, five heart shaped boxes of chocolates and a giant card.’ When you showed up with exactly that, she probably would have appreciated that you got her what you wanted but there would have been no tears and elated joy and laughter in disbelief. That’s what you should be aiming for now, years down the road.
She meant it at the time
The last reason is that it could be that she really didn’t want anything at that moment when you were talking about. It’s okay to change your mind. People do it all the time. Quite possibly, she wasn’t focused on the anniversary so she thought she didn’t want or need anything to recognize it. But then, when the day came and you really didn’t get her anything, she realized that she did want something and it made her sad that you didn’t want to celebrate your time together, even when the day arrived.
How to overcome that? Well, get her something anyway. Even if she says she doesn’t want something, mix these three things together and find a way to make money so she doesn’t see it and surprise her with something that she’ll love be it flower bouquets all over the house or a beautiful necklace or a date night all planned out and paid for.
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